I missed Ground Hog’s Day- and I’m Angry
Last Wednesday I was sitting at my desk reviewing something when I realized the day before was Ground Hog’s Day and I was really really angry- I’m not sure why- I never pay attention to the results- I think more so because I know the movie was on some channel and I didn’t get to watch it- BAH
A week of crazy comments in review:
FAVORITE: I’m complaining about everything and I say-”the worst part about this building is when I want to dramatically throw myself out the window- we’re on the first floor- it won’t help…” to which the receptionist replies “you can’t even throw yourself in front of a car- they have to go so slow because of those damn speed bumps” so funny
Coworker:”Let him ask for it again….I’ll rip his heart out……….I hope he asks for it again”
Coworker: “My only hope at this point in my day is to get in a wreck on 195 but my luck the semi driver would swerve to miss me- roll the truck- meet his maker- have a wife and six kids left behind……..Nah not worth it- won’t help me at all”
Deep Thoughts with Coworker-”I’m going to have my fries- we’re all going to die….and when the paul bearers are carrying my casket I want them to know they’re carrying something”
We have a stamp that we use to sign all company checks- the company owner’s name happens to be Peter- you can just imagine the number of stupid comments we make daily about needing it, playing with it, yada yada yada- poor Peter- but seriously this man is no where near poor-
Random Coworker: “I have no motivation to work today” Response From Other “I’m making my car payment” ah productivity at its best
I would just like to state in all honesty and sincerity that at the age of 23 I am no one’s idea of a role model-
Especially since my coworker got two injuries and I just sit there and laugh until I cry- I mean literally laugh so hard I could not even ask if she was okay- and the worst part is-if she was hurt I would have to fill out paper work- lots of it- and I still think it’s so funny-
The Chef for my building came in my office the other day and said ” its good to see you smiling on Mondays….you’ve come a long way-”…..to which I answer “I drink more now”
I’ve taught everyone in my office my universal (oxymoron perhaps) sign language for stapler- its me flailing my hand around like a duck’s beak until I find my stapler- impressively people catch on very fast
So the other day I was on a conference call in the boss’ office and he tells the person on the other end- “some days I think she wants to stab me…but the good thing about Gina is that you always know when she wants to stab you- she’s very direct… there’s no guess work”
You must also know that I have a very great boss- he takes all of my craziness in stride very well- when I have a sudden burst of oh my god I forgot to do something and walk away from him/ out of his office like the building is on fire with no explanation he continues on with his day- and when I get completely impatient on other days and leave in middle of conversation while he yells wait- stop- don’t lea…(I’m usually gone before he finishes his sentence) he knows I’ll be back when I find something with sugar or caffeine which oddly enough he thinks I should cut back on- why doesn’t he try taking in less oxygen and try to function- it just doesn’t work well-
Completely separate note- if I carried a tape recorder with me- my life would have a crazy soundtrack- because every motion, action, reaction I make is always a cracked out noise- and it might come with some choreography because I have some of the most random dances ever– for no reason– at the most random of times- we call these the Gina dances-
While driving home the other day I was thinking about my life as a retiree- so I’m thinking that I will retire at about 55-60 and from there I will take up driving as a chauffeur and I plan to drive until they take away my license- I’m thinking it will probably all end around the time I’m 85 years old in a low-speed chase on the expressway where I exit and turn into a driver’s ed parking lot and start weaving the limo through/over the parking cones and bail out at the last second when the car is going oh about 15 mph- JOKES on the government- at this point they have to send me away- and then they have to pay all my medical expenses for the rest of my days- and guess what if I make it to 85 I don’t plan to have many years after that- I’m going to set up a trust right now so that someone is paid off to bring me food while I’m in prison- I don’t think I’ll like the food-
Update in Forgotten Food News- the cookies I was baking for Jimmy Buffett Wednesday at work- totally forgot about- and with my cheetah like reactions made it to the oven in time to take out Dom style cookies- woops- and she no longer lives close enough to eat my messed up cookies- sad day-
